As New Jersey prepares for the spring and summer tourist season, here are some tips for those of you who might drive here. 
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. New Jersey has its own version of traffic rules.The two most important needs you’ll have while driving in NJ is a horn and a middle finger. Everything else is extraneous, including knowing where you’re going.
So for those who haven’t travelled New Jersey’s highways and byways…Here are some tips…
The morning rush hour is from 5 AM to NOON. The evening rush hour is from NOON to 7 PM. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
The minimum acceptable speed on the Turnpike (I-95) is 95 mph. On the Parkway it’s 85 to 95. Anything less is considered “sissy.” (Just ask Governor Jon Corzine.) 
Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop, the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Monmouth and Ocean counties, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you could be rear ended, cussed out, and see that dreaded middle finger. 
Road construction is permanent and continuous condition in all of the Garden State. Detour barrels are moved around in the middle of the night for your entertainment and to make the next day’s driving a little more exciting.
Also to make your travel more exciting all the Turnpike EZ Pass lanes are moved each night.
Watch carefully for road hazards such as barrels, cones, skunks, drunks, dogs, cats, shredded tires, drivers on cell phones, deer and other road kill, and the critters feeding on any of these items.
If you actually come across someone with a turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately and let them know their blinker was ‘accidentally activated'. 
Do NOT depend on MapQuest here — none of the roads are where they say, nor do they go where they say they do.
Do NOT try to estimate travel time in New Jersey. We operate on our own time. My suggestion, leave Monday afternoon if you need to be there by Tuesday, by noon Thursday if you need to be there Friday, and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.
Little Egg Harbor REALTOR® Laura Giannotta
Your Jersey Shore real estate resource!
609.384.6121
www.JerseyShoreViews.com
Laura@JerseyShoreViews.com
I used to joke that you would know a Jersey driver here because he would be the one honking his horn , changing lanes, speeding up and slowing down , all on a striaght empty highway. Some thing Jersey does not have
After growing up and learning to drive in NJ, your post rings true!
Laura, the funny part as I well know being a Joisey boi, is that everyone on here not from Jersey, is going to think that you are kidding! Have a great day.
Yep...this is correct!
Have a great week...
Great post!
Hi Laura, I enjoyed the post. In a previous life I drove a cab in NYC, we won't even get into those rules!
And don't forget that you have to make a right to turn left on those silly "jug handles"!!!
You come from South Jersey, Double that in North Jersey. Just Kidding, Great Post!
Hi Laura - I've driven in Jersey and all of this is so true. lol It certainly is an experience one will never forget.
Laura...I don't know here I'm going but we are making good time at this speed. I hear what your saying!
When I lived in PA I always wanted to go to the Road sign that says "Welcome to PA" and write under it "NOW GO HOME".... now that I have lived in NJ for the past 9 years, I still do not understand the Jersey driver. I told my children who still live in PA, when you come here to visit, be careful, they will cut you off and FLIP you off at the same time and not think twice about it.
When I first moved here I would come to an intersection and wave somebody through, and they would look at me like I was from a different planet!?!? Yes, your post sums up the Jersey Driver.
DW
this was a funny post. I do not like to drive in New Jersey.. Thank God i do not have to do it often... It's crazy.. The post rings true...
Dear Laura,
Who knew that NJ and Texas had so much in common with their roads?? I see the finger and hear the horn all the time. No it is not always pointed at me... We have our fair share of bad drivers to be sure. Good luck and thanks for the giggle!
Horn? Check! Middle Finger? Check, Check! Alight, I am prepared if I come visit.
Laura...That is why I love my home area. We are a bit more laid back. But if we need, the 90+ in not out of the question!
Well, it sounds like I'm going to feel right at home, when I visit the Garden State. :)
Very funny (if you're not getting the finger) :)
Laura, You forgot that u-turns are permitted anywhere there is not a police car on the side of the road. And the correct speed for ezpass tolls is 45
Are not these all jokes? But it seems Honk and middle fingers are not (jokes). I only drove in NJ once and have forgot if I heard any honks.
That's too funny. Out here if you use your horn or the middle finger, you just might get shot.
That's the BEST, Laura!
Laura
Great post I've been reading the comments, let me clear things up NJ drivers are great drivers. If you are from out of state and traveling the left lane and not doing the speed limit, you should count your blessings if the only thing your getting is the finger.